Looking back, and looking forward.

I have been MIA, already. :) I haven't really blogged about anything in a few days, because there really hasn't been anything "newsworthy" happening here at the Painter house. I mean, we have had our normal dysfunctional times here, just nothing to share...nothing out of the ordinary.

I love to write. I have loved to write for as long as I can remember. Not that I am good at it, but just because I like it...I have journals that go back to elementary school, notebooks from college, random sheets of paper with my thoughts, typed up short stories, etc....I write whenever I get the urge, when I need to get something off of my mind, or just to jot things down to remember later. This weekend, as I was looking for something, I ran across a letter, that I had written to myself, the day before I graduated college, with my undergrad degree...I will share it here.

Dear Future Me,
It hasn’t been an easy road to get where you are right now. There’s been a lot of ups and downs, lefts and rights, even some crazy moments where you could have sworn that the world turned you upside down. If someone tells you that everything is going to make sense in the end, they’re probably right. If there’s one thing that I hope you look back on and remember, it’s those moments that take your breath away. Hold onto those moments no matter how tough things get and you’ll always find a reason to move forward. You’re the best person you can be, really, as long as you’re always trying, and never give up. Always remember, you have to be happy with yourself, before you can make anyone else happy. It doesn’t matter what other's think of you, it is what you think of yourself. Never let someone tell you, you can't do it...you are proving today, that you can.

Now, let me back up and say. I took the scenic route through college. I went to SMC, played ball. Loved every minute of continuing my athletic career, but honestly wasted time in the academic department. Transferred to Upstate, and hated every minute on that campus...just went through the motions, working towards a Sports Medicine degree, but never truly happy, where I was. In July 2001, my world was shook upside down and turned inside out (I will share more about that journey,in another post) but, my mother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I took the next semester at Upstate off, and spent time with her. I then, up and decided to transfer to North Greenville, where I changed my major completely--to education, and nothing had ever felt so right before. So, when I sat down, and wrote myself this letter, the night before graduation--the end of an era, I had been through a lot. I had been the butt of jokes, in the family for taking so long, and felt like I had to keep telling my whole story, so people would understand, what did take so long.

Looking back now, and finding this letter, 6 years later, is refreshing--I needed that reminder! I think, I will start writing more letters to the future me...I encourage you to do the same. If you decide to write one, share it with me :)