Crazy title, right? But, I am sure that there are many of you who try to prepare yourselves for certain upcoming situations, and well, truth is, sometimes it doesn't matter how hard we try to prepare, we are never really ready. My sister, baby sister, ONLY sister/sibling Emmy and her loving husband, Daniel, are moving to Savannah on Monday. I'm not prepared! I have had several months to prepare, and I honestly a few weeks ago, thought I was at peace with everything. That was until this past week. "Packing" week. I went over to their house on Monday, to help them pack up. I was no help. I packed a few boxes, but couldn't get into it, couldn't wrap my head around what was happening. Luckily, after about an hour, Owen was ready to leave, and come home to play with his new toys. I was ok, once I removed myself from the situation. Which brings me to Tuesday. Daniel's family came over to help, and along comes a U-Haul truck, and that was all she wrote. From that point until now, I cannot stop tearing up at the thought of what is to come (including now). I know, she is not gone forever, and I know that we will see each other frequently, because it is a short 4 hour drive, BUT it doesn't make it any easier to deal with.
If she would have sprung this news on me about 3 years ago, I wouldn't be struggling like I am today. To be honest, I have been a horrible sister big sister. There are 5 years between us, so growing up I didn't want my little bratty sister hanging around with me and my friends, because we were too cool, right?! Because of those times, we never really grew close, and never really got to know each other. The age difference was a huge part of that. She went off to Alabama to school, and I missed her, but I was ok. Don't get me wrong, even thought we weren't bff's, I still would have dared you to mess with her! She was my sister, and it didn't matter to me how much we fought, and I hurt her, or she hurt me, YOU better not have hurt her. That's just the way it was. :)
But, over the last few years, we have become close real close, we talk almost daily, see each other at least once a week, etc...you get the picture. So, these past few months, have been a roller coaster ride. I feel like, I just became best friends with my sister, and now she is leaving me again. I think constantly about the small things we will both miss out on. I think about the "what ifs"...What if she gets down there, and loves it, and doesn't want to come home?...What if she gets down there, and one of us gets pregnant, and we miss out on that special time?...What if Owen starts asking about seeing uncle D and Auntie Em at Monday night dinners?...What if...
So, I'm struggling. I've been moody, whiny, quiet (which is not me), teary eyed, an emotional wreck, etc...I have prayed for strength for myself, but I have mostly prayed for them. I pray that they will meet new friends quickly, that their house here will sell, that they will love Savannah (but not too much), I pray that Emmy will find a job, that she loves, and I pray for their safety in a new area. I pray for peace within their hearts, for making such a bold and courageous move, that they feel was placed in their laps, after many nights in discussion with God. I pray that God's will for them to be there, will be revealed to them, and that they will find peace in this difficult decision. I know it has been hard for them (I feel it's been harder for me :) but they are following God's will, and he will reward them for that.
So, if I seem a little off. Or cry for no apparent reason, when you ask me how I am. Then, there is my reason. I will get through it, and everything will be right with the world again. I will miss her though, because 4 hours is a little longer than the now 20 minutes. I am sure that Skype will be my new best friend :)
"A part of you has grown in me, together forever we shall be, never apart, maybe in distance but not in heart."
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